I want to be real with the struggles I face and deal with knowing that others can relate. While my situation is obvious I know just about everyone has a heartache or difficulty they have to walk through that wasn’t expected. Many deal with illnesses and difficult situations that are life changing and their “normal” is forever changed. I am finding there are different layers of growth and healing as I continue to accept Gods perfect plan for my life. I realize at times that I am still in the process of adjusting to this big life change.
The permanency of my situation sometimes hits me….my leg is never going to grow back, I will always need my crutches/wheelchair/walker, I will always be different and look different, and that I am viewed as handicapped. These thoughts can get me down and frustrated. I was sharing this with my older sister and she reminded me that this is something I will always deal with, but to remember I will always have this unique situation that God has given me to share Christ with others and be a light for Him. Having a prosthetic has allowed me many opportunities to talk with and meet so many people. Any of my friends and family that have been out with me also know when I see someone else with an amputation I rush over to talk to them, there’s always an instant bond with someone who has gone through what you have. I want to encourage you that whatever you’re going through know God wants to use your story so others might see the hope, peace and joy that Jesus gives even in the hardest of times. I don’t have to think long to be reminded of how God has somehow used me and this amputation to open up doors that I would never have had otherwise to share Christ. A couple of months ago a worker at Kroger’s talked with me in the hair color isle about a difference he saw in me, he saw I had a prosthetic but was still happy. I was able to share with him the joy and hope that comes from knowing Jesus. This is not about me, but how God has a special purpose and unique plan for my life and yours and wants to use our stories for His glory. There is a much bigger picture that we might not see right now. Trust God is at work.
I have a remote that is for my prosthetic which allows me to change modes for various activities and I can also look up how many steps I’ve taken. In the 21 months I have had my prosthesis I have taken 824,239 steps. This is incredible to me knowing the couple of years prior to my amputation I couldn’t walk many steps in a row on my own because of the pain. I have no regrets and know without a doubt this surgery was the right decision. I continue to get stronger and able to do more and more. They are working on getting my socket (the top part of the leg) a better fit and then I am getting a new design for it. The next thing is getting my water leg and who knows maybe next I will ask for a running leg😊.